The ‘Fuck It’ List

A new decade and new year are now upon us.

Polar ice caps are melting faster than an ice cream bar on a hot summer’s day, and Mother Nature has officially flipped us the bird. We have leaders of nations whose petulant disposition is matched by that of a toddler having a tantrum. Difficult, unrelenting, void of all sensibilities, ruled entirely by emotion while behaving reactively. The Vatican is plugging its budget deficit with donations meant for the poor, and I’m convinced that any intelligent life that exists in the solar system has already issued a ‘no travel’ ban to earth. Who can blame them? I’d say that insanity has a good grip on the planet at the moment. Like a frog in boiling water, we have climatized ourselves to allow stupidity to spread, especially in positions of power, politics and governance rationalizing it with a perceived lens authority while becoming submissive to fear.

It is my hope this will change for the better in this decade, as we have the power to make that intention real. Now seasoned and astute to how fragile life and everything within it is, we can turn the tide to help the younger generations by demanding action be taken on issues that affect the whole. We would insist on nothing less if we were in their shoes.

In the spirit of releasing that which no longer serves, and redirecting my attention to issues that serve the greater good, I decided to start a ‘fuck it’ list. I’m not interested in a bucket list, and this one feels so much better. In our twenties, we give a fuck. In our thirties, we learn to give less of a fuck, and by our forties, we learn not to give a fuck. By our fifties, we’ve run out of fucks to give, and our sixties is about ‘fuck off.’  This four-letter word is the perfect metaphor for where we’ve arrived as experienced, insightful and mature women — one syllable, varying in its uses as a noun, verb, interjection, adjective, and adverb. With an economy of vocabulary, its spectrum is as diverse as us.

My list doesn’t mean I’m turning my back on what matters. Instead, I’m distancing myself from unnecessary obligations that I’ve outgrown, trusting as I place them in the hands of the Universe while bidding control goodbye — making room to address even more significant issues that affect us all.  Previous concerns on my radar are no longer my monkey or my circus. It’s time to let things go. Life will take it from here.  Dr. Sharon Forrest, a spiritual teacher, used to say, “Let Go Let God.”  We can now comfortably let our kids find their way in life, trusting we have taught them well. The same is true for friends who may be repeating patterns in their lives. They’ll get it. We need to give them space so they can have the experiences they are meant to have.

Women our age are masterful at fixing things. With our history and experience now hanging from the same tool belt, as our finances and blowdryer, there’s nothing we can’t handle. We have a legacy of expertise, and there isn’t anything we can’t make better. It’s in our DNA, as Divine Natural Avatars. We are brilliant in too many ways to recite here. What we haven’t learned is how to put the fix-it shop out of business. When we perceive crap might happen, we are already preparing with resources to remedy the situation. We might consider adopting a more appropriate approach at this juncture. It’s okay not to fix, intervene, or offer to do anything unless asked. Instead, channelling all that energy and skill into causes that could use our contribution. The ‘fuck it’ list is created on the premise we direct our energies wisely as there are only so many ‘fucks’ to give.

For me, successful living is being in a state of intoxicating peace. Perhaps the same euphoria as a bucket list configured differently based in the here and now. Having gratitude in an ever-expanding awareness and directing it to areas that could use it. It’s freeing to no longer be tethered to obligations that we have outgrown. Things that once held importance now dropped like third-period french.

The ‘fuck-it’ list has severed the shackles I imposed upon myself as I move into the next decade,  I can release old programming and make room for who I am to expand into – abandoning self-imposed obligations. Unloading one monkey at a time, knowing I am in a place of passion and purpose focusing on things outside of myself that are important to me.

As we approach this new year, recognize your voice matters and that you have more power than you know. At any point during your day, you will be operating in one of two states. In a place of love or of fear. You’ll recognize the difference because you will feel it. By deciding to live consciously, you can choose to be in a state of love. There you can move mountains, vote for those that share your intentions, clean oceans, educate, and call out corporate organizations, creating change in a world that is desperate for your light.

Mahatma Gandhi said it best “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Happy New Year Ladies!