Political Correctness, Meet Your Ego

I grew up in a noisy Eastern European family that only knew spirited discussions around the dinner table.  Our relatives would debate over a spread filled with food and drink. The tone was loud to compete with the lively conversations happening simultaneously. Once the night was over, everyone would hug, kiss and part ways until the next time. No one internalized what was spoken during the heated discussions that transpired throughout the evening. There was no hypersensitivity to anything, only rigorous debate. Political Correctness didn’t exist. If someone was offended, it was their problem in how they heard or processed the exchange. Curiously no one ever was. When speaking with compassion, we naturally pull on language that the speaker and listener are cognizant too.

Political Correctness is a manufactured way of speaking, possessing the illusion of augmented language to maintain appearances. It’s rooted in fear and designed for approval while distancing one from the truth. It’s an illusion of compassion. The name alone is telling having the word ‘political’ preceding the word ‘correctness.’ Making it exclusive while focusing on the least principled of groups, Politicians, who don’t have a code of ethics only the semblance of one. Criminals have a higher moral code while ‘correctness’ is a value judgement. A word focused on the external world rather than one’s truthfulness. One can’t be authentic and genuine while using fabricated terms to address controversial issues. The language doesn’t support it’s perceived intention.

When you speak from your heart, you can’t offend because you’re engaging in a compassionate vocabulary that transcends.  The message is relayed and received differently. That’s the essence of being polite. It’s considerate. I doubt someone like Trump could have kept up with the open-minded discussions like the ones we had around our table. Where one was acknowledged, void of emotion.  The conversations I experienced didn’t have others imposing their views but declaring them. Not everyone agreed, but the civility allowed people to be heard without a boatload of emotion.  Allowing them the opportunity to express themselves with no one feeling threatened.  It is when the ego gets engaged that we start to blame, separate and wrong, consequently feeling offended and hurt which is an emotion.

As in previous decades, the sixties had inappropriate language that polite people didn’t use. It wasn’t because of Political Correctness, but common sense. It served no purpose except to reveal you were a bully during an era that was discovering and declaring ‘One Love.’

Manners and politeness were instilled upon us as we grew up and there was a lot back then to alienate us. We had more than our fair share of old beliefs hoisted upon us alongside an inequitable distribution of power for women. Politeness is fundamental to being civil. It acknowledges and accepts that everyone who shows up on your path is equal and that an unfavourable response is one not rooted in respect. A polite person teaches others and is receptive and thoughtful, not rude. There’s no room to be above or below another when one is civil. Somewhere along the line politeness was hijacked by Political Correctness. You can’t share for fear of offending someone when you stand in Political Correctness. Growing up, we couldn’t always agree with what was spoken, or with each other, but that was okay. We listened, shared and learned.

When speaking from a place of love you don’t need to be in doubt, should a neanderthal have crossed our path, it was an opportunity to educate and demonstrate politeness so that person could experience an empowering and respectful exchange, not squash them down from who they were. Social Graces 101 is stating the facts without being condescending towards another and not drawing on an artificial lexicon aimed at looking good while creating separation at a time when we are starving for unity.  It’s interesting how calming our conversation sounds when we remove adjectives and diffuse emotional triggers by merely stating the facts.

It’s the value judgements that distort the truth. Political Correctness is ego infused and ego’s bitch.  People know of political correctness, but politicians are fluent in it because it serves as a currency that translates into votes — this type of linguistics masks their lack of understanding from what could be an explosive issue. We want to believe that those who are in public service are in a place of authenticity and truth and not concerned about presentation, but we don’t live in that world.  Politicians depend on a diet of political correctness while they put their pee-pees on the internet. That’s not only stupid; it’s not very polite. Political Correctness can’t compete with the principals of politeness which are inclusive and universal recognizing there exist only one humanity and one people.  I do wonder whether civility went the way of common sense.

Political Correctness is contingent on language which can be wily.  Words associated with the church are offensive in France while sex isn’t.  The reverse is true in North America. Our curse words are mainly sexually orientated while those of the French reflect the church. What is offensive in one country has no impact on another. The two are based on different belief systems. Politeness supersedes both.

Political Correctness lives in the unconsciousness. You have to be mindless to utilize its flow of language, searching for agreement rather than perceiving an issue through a perspective of love. If we respected each other and had no value judgements on anything, we wouldn’t have room for political correctness. It has morphed into something that I believe is a cry for politeness.

Being polite recognizes we’re all human beings worthy of the same consideration we would want others to pay us. It’s apolitical. Further, it demands that people be present in how they deal with each other. You have to be conscious when being polite. Perhaps we should coin a new term and call it “Political Likeness.” Focusing on our commonalities and what unifies us while appreciating our differences.

Part of expanding as compassionate human beings is to be guided by other loving human beings. At a critical time in civilization, it’s essential that we have meaningful conversations and not stifle them under a manufactured protocol.  The goal needs to be to eliminate fear not perpetuate it. Respectful debate and agreeing to disagree are civility. Political correctness has morphed into something that is the furthest thing from getting us back on track.

In many ways, Political Correctness has turned into a cagey bully disguised as tolerance pushing politeness outside of its realm to ensure it’s not disturbed. Civility can survive without fear whereas Political Correctness cannot. Fear is its fuel. Being polite requires no disguise. It’s not ego; it’s love.  Ugliness in language comes from ignorance, and that is where we educate. Hate comes from a lack of respect, and that is where we nurture.

Everyone is entitled to their view, but it’s just that, an idea, typically based on the persons own facts.  If you were to distill an opinion in a court of law, you would be required to produce concrete evidence to support it void of embellishments.  Any uncomfortable emotion we’re experiencing around a point of view is our crap to deal with not the other persons.

Humour is not politically correct. Its basis is contrast, which serves as the insight the comic delivers to enlighten its audience. It is the most genuine expression of free speech. The polarity they illustrate in the delivery of their comedy shows us where we’ve been, where we’re going and where we have emotional triggers. Contrast serves as the mirror and comedians are its messengers.  Political correctness doesn’t allow for comparisons to exist. It’s like living in a state of suspension. When there’s no judgement, it can become a conduit for the insight through contrast.

Trump and those of his archetype are in power because we’ve lost our way to be polite. He can speak jack shit, and even though many don’t like him, they can’t deny that they feel strangled to express their truth in a manner that he reveals his. He is not Politically Correct nor polite. Politeness reflects strength, diplomacy, intelligence and possesses an elegance. If we were polite when we speak there would be no need for political correctness and no room for archetypes like Trump.  He would not have a voice nor be in power.

A compelling argument, to reintroduce the art of being polite.