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Pelvic Floor Confidential – The Body’s Real MVP
Mar
It’s time to give our pelvic floors the royal treatment they deserve.
As we age, our pelvic floors start to act less like elite nightclub security and more like a bouncer who’s been on shift for 30 years and doesn’t care anymore. Instead of managing VIP access and keeping everything inside the club—bladder, bowels, internal organs—it lets things slip past the rope like an open-bar free-for-all. When strong, it’s like a serious security team keeping the party exclusive, running smoothly and slamming the door firmly when necessary. But when it’s weak, those doors swing open. Secrets spill out, and it’s an unplanned evacuation. It’s not the kind of scene you want at a VIP party.
Think of a DJ in your intimate life. When the DJ’s on point, the playlist is smooth, the beats are tight, the base is strong, and the vibe is smooth. But when that DJ checks out for the night, it’s like they hit shuffle on the worst playlist ever—awkward and offbeat. And let’s be honest, women our age are elite-level crisis managers, mastering the art of holding it all together—sometimes quite literally. The sheer willpower it takes to suppress a sneeze to avoid peeing ourselves is next-level superhuman strength. The cruel irony of aging is that our physical limitations become more visible as we become less visible.
We endure cramps that feel like a tiny demolition crew jackhammering our uterus, and yet we put on a smile and show up carrying on like nothing’s wrong. Someone’s got to keep it all together. We have enough on our plates without our pelvic floor turning on us like a backstabbing ex. Gracefully getting out of a low-sitting couch is no different than playing Russian roulette. One sneeze, cough, or laugh, and it’s game over. Trampolines? They’re a high-stakes bladder challenge, and any surprise sneeze in public is a whole new level of stealth test: “Did I just leak mid-aisle at the grocery store? Oh, I totally meant to do that!“
Our pelvic floor is the unsung hero of our bodies, but even heroes have their limits. At our age, it resembles a sturdy yet overworked suspension bridge—with a few too many “bumps” threatening to make it sag under pressure. But we can make that floor feel functional and fabulous again with care and exercise.
So, how do we rescue our pelvic floor without just squeezing and hoping for the best? Enter Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy. Think of it as a personal trainer for your pelvic floor, except instead of yelling at you to do burpees, they guide your downstairs muscles back into shape like a gentle coach. They might throw in some manual therapy and biofeedback—a fancy way of saying, “Hey, here’s what’s going on down there!” It’s like physical therapy for the VIP section of your anatomy.
Your pelvic floor doesn’t work solo; it’s part of the all-star team that is your core. Strengthening those deep abdominal muscles with planks, bird dogs, or other exercises is like recruiting your support squad. Imagine them all wearing capes, ready to help lift the load—literally.
Breathing is essential for life, but who knew it could be done wrong? Deep belly breathing can also help tone the pelvic floor. Inhale like you’re trying to inflate a balloon in your belly, then exhale while gently engaging those pelvic muscles—think of it as a slow-motion Kegel.
Another hidden culprit is posture. Slouching isn’t just bad for your back; it’s also making your pelvic floor bitchy. It’s like trying to balance a watermelon on a stack of Jenga blocks—bad posture is a recipe for disaster. Stand tall, keep your spine neutral, and let your core support you instead of dumping all the pressure on your poor pelvic floor.
Hip mobility and stretching are essential because tight hips are no different from overprotective parents of the pelvic floor—way too much tension. Loosen things up with hip flexor stretches and gentle yoga poses. Picture your pelvic floor finally able to chill and do its thing without unnecessary drama.
Squats and lunges aren’t just for Instagram-worthy glutes; they also wake up the pelvic floor. You need to be squatting with good form, or you might end up with sore knees and an even more annoyed pelvic floor—which is unfair.
If your pelvic floor is struggling, consider skipping those deadlifts or marathons—high-impact exercises—for something gentler—like swimming, yoga, or interpretive dance (no judgment). Avoiding constipation by pushing too hard is your pelvic floor’s worst nightmare. Eat fibre like it’s going out of style, and keep those bathroom breaks drama-free.
There are clinics with specialized chairs to provide a longer runway designed to strengthen your pelvic floor so you can beef up that area quicker, but do your due diligence as to what the actual cost is to access the potential benefits of the chair and whether there is any window dressing you have to pay for before you engage. The irony is that these devices are designed to support your pelvic floor, yet the financial burden to access them could crush the very people they aim to help. Seeking healing and relief requires navigating a maze of hidden fees, add-ons, and collateral costs. The promise of empowerment suddenly turns into a test of endurance—not for your pelvic floor, but for your wallet. It’s a pelvic floor treatment that is often promoted and packaged as though it’s cosmetic filler when it’s not.
Outside of stating the obvious, your pelvic floor is the real MVP when it comes to having great sex. Understanding its role in intimacy can enlighten us and boost our confidence in our bodies.
When people talk about ways to improve their sex life, they usually focus on the usual suspects: stamina, communication, and even a playlist that doesn’t accidentally shuffle to a weird song mid-action. But the unsung hero of great sex? Our pelvic floor. Think of it as the backstage crew of an incredible performance—silent, powerful, ensuring everything goes smoothly.
A strong, healthy and well-conditioned pelvic floor increases blood flow, sensitivity, and muscle control, leading to deeper, more intense orgasms. Science backs this up. It also means better control over contractions, positioning, and movement during intimacy. Translation: You’re in the driver’s seat for maximizing pleasure. A healthy pelvic floor supports blood circulation to the area, which can naturally enhance arousal and lubrication, making everything more comfortable and enjoyable. A weak pelvic floor can lead to fatigue like any other muscle group. Strengthening it can help you last longer and feel more energized. If your pelvic floor is too tight or weak, sex can feel uncomfortable instead of fantastic. Keeping it balanced and flexible means everything feels better, with less pain and more pleasure.
Roll out the red carpet for your pelvic floor – it’s not just on the VIP list; it owns the VIP lounge, no cover, no lines, just all-access treatment all night long. Keep it strong, and let it be the life of the party.